Sunday, May 28, 2017

Top 8 Funniest Animal Name

Animal names are given by the animal founder and scientist, but you know if animal founders and scientist can also be wacky right. For some reasons, many animal in the world got weird name. For example, there is a beetle called Forest Cockchafer, or even a spider called Aptostichus Barackobamai! But these animal names are weirder than those. Here's Top 8 Weirdest Animal Names.

8. PUDDINGWIFE WRASSE


Puddingwife Wrasse, or sometimes just called the Puddingwife, is a cute and beautiful animal with a weird and ridiculous name. If its a Puddingwife, then it means their husband is a pudding. But since when do pudding get married? They never does! Puddings just created without a gender then eaten by humans. But Puddingwife is NOT a pudding. Its a fish. And married with the same species and have normal eggs and normal fry. They not married to puddings. The weirdest gender name of this species is actually the male! It's called male puddingwife. Wife is a male? This name is so weird. 


7. BARE-FACED GO-AWAY-BIRD


The Bare-Faced Go-Away-Bird is a bird with the weirdest name and probably one of the longest. Its weird because first their face is black, referring to some big chest-pounding hairy people in Congo that has a silver back and only eat plants. Second, its called go-away-bird, and that's mean they want anyone that's in their territory to... well, go away! (Or probably going to go away when humans call them). The BFGAB calls are like haa! haa! haa! and also like gwa! gwa! gwa! If you just called this bird, the bird will look at you, give a middle finger, and says "Stop calling me! You sh*t-eating son of a b*tch!" Then go away! So that's why they called go-away-birds.

6. HUMMINGBIRD HAWK-MOTH

Now this one is so confusing. Is it a hummingbird, a hawk, or a moth? Well its actually a moth. It's called hummingbird because they flies and suck nectars like a hummingbird, called moth because its a moth, and called hawk because... well, I don't know. Although we believe they only found in the Asian mainland (include northern Southeast Asia), northern and eastern Europe, and northern Africa, but the Hummingbird Hawk-Moth ever spotted in North America and Malaysia. Well although the name's weird its still beautiful to look. Right?

5. AGRA CADABRA


I believe a 100% that the one that gives this guy a name is a magician or something. Agra Cadabra is a ground beetle, that the name often confused with the famous magic spell, Abracadabra. Its like when the magician going to perform a trick, the magician will says "For today's magic trick, I'm going to take a rabbit out of my small, black hat" then the magician says the spell "Agra Cadabra!" when the magician take something from the hat, the magician says "F*ck, its a beetle, why am I always doing this". Hope this be a lesson for you that wants to be a magician. Don't ever says a wrong magic spell, or you will embarrass yourself because of the cursed f*ckin' beetle. Oh yeah, the Agra Cadabra also have an also weird-named cousin, the Agra Vation.

4. PINK FAIRY ARMADILLO


In the weird name game, armadillos will surely wins. This is a Pink Fairy Armadillo, an animal native to Argentina and also the smallest armadillo species. This guy also have one of the funniest animal name in the world. Is it weird? It is pink, but it didn't look like a fairy to me, they didn't have any wings or magic wands. It looks more like a salmon that ready to put in a sushi. Pink Fairy Armadillos have an armor shell but is not for protecting them from predators, it's for their thermoregulation. They buried themselves when a predator approach. This cute animal is not only weird in the name, but also because is not a fairy but named a fairy.

3. SOMALI WILD ASS


Wild ass? Really? This beautiful creatures are called wild asses? Well you can call it a donkey, but most websites and encyclopedias more likely to call them ass than a donkey (this is pretty funny). Native to Somalia, the Somali Wild Ass is a critically endangered animal that looks like a donkey version of Quagga. It's the rarest ass and the most endangered ass. Just by reading its name, you will think is a wild butt living Somalia, aren't you? Well, Somali Wild Asses have the weirdest donkey name, beating the domestic ass (donkey) itself. Asses will definitely win the weird name competition.

2. SCREAMING HAIRY ARMADILLO


Screaming Hairy Armadillo is the cutest (and the weirdest named) armadillo in the world. It's named "screaming" because its always squeal when being handed (man it so cute). Screaming Hairy Armadillos have lots of hair all over their body and it is the most slender armadillo in the world. Its habitat range is covering 4 countries (Argentina, Paraguay, Bolivia, and small parts of Brazil), and they can be found in the Gran Chaco and Pampas area. Every time you carry this cute little guy, it will get cuter because it beginning to squeal for help. Aww.... It so cute, but still the name is weird.

1. SLIPPERY D*CK


Who the heck named this animal Slippery D*ck, huh? No dicks are slippery (probably), and no animals can beat this fish in a weird name competition. Slippery D*cks covers itself with a sticky mucus as a defense mechanism (if you know what I mean). They know to change color when they reach its adult size and ready to f*ck any animals that bother them during mating season. Both slippery d*ck's sexes (I though they only have one gender, if you know what I mean) has different body color while all of the juveniles have the same body color: white, so that's make the parents that has both female and male juvenile can often forgot which is which. All in all, this fish got the weirdest animal name in the world, and also, the most confusing juveniles.

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Top 8 Toughest Animals

Animals need toughness to survive in the wild. Some animals have toughness that's already exist to their kind because of their ancestor and some animals are still evolving to adapt to the place they lived in. But these animal's toughness are better than any other animals. Here's Top 8 Toughest Animals.

8. HYBRID CAMEL


Hybrid Camel, also called the Bactriomedary, Turkoman, Tülu, Bukht, Nar, Iner, Iver, Majen, Bertuar, Yaml, Dromano, and Dromel, are large one-humped camel than mostly drink but rarely piss. Bactriomedary's sound is closely resemble an old car machine and it's top-haired hump resembles a pyramid that blasted in the roof. Bactriomedary it's pretty rare because Arabians and Egyptians prefer cars more than camels because camels are loud, slow, and poop a lot. Bactriomedaries are also tough. Everyday they fight the scorching heat and the strong wind of a desert. They have larger hump than the 2 other camels to store more fat and water. The strong bactrian and the fast dromedary make a strong camel that can fight double of their challenges. Its pretty badass.

7. BROWN RAT


The Brown Rats, or sometimes called Norwegian Rats, Roof Rats, Sewer Rats, Common Rats, Street Rats, Wharf Rats, or just Rats, are one of the toughest and smartest animals on Earth. Although they're small, but they're really tough. They live in extreme cold of northern Siberian range, even the scorching heat of the Sahara, and they also very easy to adapt anywhere they lived. They're live everywhere except for both Arctic and Antarctic Circle, and Alberta. They're resistant to nuclear radiation, very hardy and adaptable, and hard to kill with poison. They can eat anything from leftover food, carcass, garbage, cockroach, even wood. Rats also one of the first animals that sent to space because they're very adaptable! They have sex 20 times a day, and make more than hundred of millions of descendants per year. This filthy animal is one of the survivor of human colonization.

6. AMERICAN COCKROACH


American Cockroach, or simply cockroach, is the most common cockroach that can live in every dirty places. Cockroaches can squeeze in to tight places and can survive nuclear radiation. Once an island be a subject on a nuclear test. The nuclear bomb release to the island and destroy most of the island and kill most of the animal. The surviving one, only the cockroach. Cockroaches also the one that make the scorpion invasion to the suburbs in America. The dirty houses in America drags in cockroach which also drag their predators. Cockroach can also eat about anything from rotten food, dust, hair, and even, soap. One more trick that's cockroach have is they can live without their head until 7 days, before dying from starvation.

5. WALKING CATFISH


Walking Catfish, also called Lele in Indonesia, are freshwater fish endemic to Indonesia, that already spread to the most southeastern and southern Asia. This catfish is known to be really tough cause they can live in a place with small amount of water, food, and oxygen. In Indonesia, this catfish made to be a food called "Pecel Lele" or fried catfish. It is more delicious than pizza and spaghetti combined (for me). Since it adapted to places with low oxygen and small amount of food, they known to eat anything, and can breathe once every several minutes. Frogs, Rats, and even Birds ever found in this guy's stomach, because its a hungry little guy. They named walking catfish because they can move in the ground which resembles walking. Walking catfish can survive out of water if its still wet. The catfish also invades several U.S. states such as Florida (partner in crime with the Snakehead). The catfish also reported in California, Nevada, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Georgia. Most walking catfish in Indonesia found in ricefields and other muddy places with low oxygen and small amount of food. These guys are true survivors.

4. QUEENSLAND LUNGFISH


The Queensland Lungfish, or Lungfish for short, is a lung-breathing fish that makes asthma sounds when breathe. The lungfish is one of the oldest fish in the world that's almost didn't change a thing since the Mesozoic Era. The lungfish have a brain that resembles the coelacanth's (a fish that also almost never evolved, but looks more ancient) brain. This fish has fins that resembles our arms and the skin texture resembles the salamander. The lungfish is known to be very hardy and can live in low oxygenated water. When the raining season in northern Australia was ended, the lungfish begins to make a slimy cocoon, to "hibernate" until the next raining season. The hibernation den of the lungfish is sometimes in under buildings, behind walls, or an abandoned rat nest. Bears only hibernate for 8 months, but lungfishes hibernate up to 4 years! Yes! 4 years just for waiting a rain! This old fishes are tough.

3. WOOD FROG


Wood frog is an amphibian native to northern North America. They known to live in extreme condition and their female is larger than their male, but both of those facts is not what makes the wood frog got famous. They're tough because they can live after being completely FROZEN. They hibernate through the winter by getting frozen with the water. When it froze, it cannot move, and you not see any frog in this wood frog hibernation. You just see a bunch of cells struggling to stay alive. The other body parts including the lungs and the heart, are dead. 65% of the frog's body waters are frozen. The body temperature is below -3°C. But wait, when the spring is come, then the snow are melting. The wood frog slowly gets unfrozen, then when the cells goes back to activate the rest of the body parts, the frog's start moving, then make it's leap. That's the story about how wood frog pass the winter, and how they become in the number 3 of this countdown.

2. WINTER TICK


The Winter Tick, or Moose Tick, is a tick that f*ck the moose. The tick spend all of its time in their host (a deer or a moose). Scientist ever discovered a skinny moose with 75.000 individuals of ticks, which times after they found that moose, the moose was found again, but it lays on the ground, and dead. When the ticks are already mature, they will fall to the ground to lay eggs and the eggs will hatch and crawl to a passing animal. A job like this need patients. They need to wait, and wait, and wait, until there's an animal passing by that they can crawl onto and live in there forever. The waiting time of the tick it's months until there's an animal passing by. But the tick gets more patient if no animal pass them. They can wait up to 10 years. Without food, without shelter, and without moving. No food for 10 years. Can you survive that? Just sitting in one place, does nothing but wait for ten years? Although no much know about this guy, but we know, they're really tough.

1. MILNESIUM TARDIGRADUM


Milnesium Tardigradums, or more commonly called Water Bears and Tardigrades, are somekind of arachnids or something that endemic to everywhere. They survived the places that we humans can't even stay longer than a few minutes there. They're found in the deepest sea level, the cold Antarctica plus the colder Antarctic Sea, the scorching heat of Sahara, and even, the empty oxygen-less outer space. Tardigrades are also have a high radioresistant and capable for living more than 200 years. They are actually omnivores and also cannibals. The Milnesium Tardigradum is the strongest of all species and subspecies of tardigrade because they're the only one that proofed can live in outer space. This animal that smaller than a rice are the king of the toughest because they can live in places with no oxygen, places with extreme heat, places with nuclear radiation, places with toxic waste, and even, they can live more than 200 years.

Friday, May 26, 2017

Top 8 Strongest Animal Bite

Animals needs a strong bite to kill prey or crushing anything hard that they considered food. Since animal doesn't have advance technology like us humans to break or kill some food, animals develop strong bite to do those work. Human bite force at 171 PSI is not a match for this strong-biting badass. Here's Top 8 Strongest Animal Bite by PSI (pounds per square inch).

WESTERN LOWLAND GORILLA


Western Lowland Gorilla is a subspecies of the Western Gorilla and (probably) one family with Tarzans and King Kongs. Gorillas is the only great apes that appears to be a herbivore, and they use their f*cking strong bite to pull off vegetation with it mouth because they to lazy to use their stronger arms. Because WL Gorillas eat any tree-grown stuff, they also need a strong bite to eat tree barks and tree roots. The bite force of the WL Gorilla is 1300 PSI and one of the strongest of herbivores. WL Gorilla is also the most famous gorilla, that being the most famous is Harambe (died in 2016) that living in the Cincinnati Zoo (I said he's already dead). Oh yeah Western Lowlands also got the stupidest trinomial name of all gorilla subspecies, which is Gorilla Gorilla Gorilla.

BULL SHARK


Bull Shark is a shark (possibly a merbull) that invades both seas and rivers. Bull shark is known to eat everything, starting from fish carcass to thrown wheels. If a bull shark eat, it will eat like shredder shreds some paper. They will ear all of the victims flesh and bones. To crunch a bone until it's swallowable, bull shark uses its strong power to crunch the bone, just like grinding some nutmegs (stop making impressions). The bite force of the bull shark is stronger than any sharks bite force, with the power of 1350 PSI. Bull Sharks is known to eat their kind (sharks) when it's already died and turns into a stinky nose-f*cking carcass. I wouldn't do that if I where them.

NILE HIPPOPOTAMUS


Nile hippo is a large fat animal that does nothing but poos in a giant puddle all day long. They known to be dirty and lazy but when they swim, they can beat cheetahs on land! They're Pachydermatas so they're related to Rhinos and Elephants. I don't know what hippos really eat, but experts says that Hippos grazing in the morning and go back to the giant puddle in the morning, day, and afternoon because they're so lazy and sensitive so they will get sunburn during these times (they never use sunscreen because they are f*ckin' idiots and doesn't know anything but eat, sleep, and poop). Hippos also love eating meat and practice cannibalism and in conclusion, Nile hippos eat anything. Nile hippos also have strong bite force at 1821 PSI for killing other hippos at mating season, and hippo fights can last around 2 weeks or more. Some of the hippos even fight until the mating season ends!

PANTANAL JAGUAR


Pantanal Jaguars are the largest of jaguar subspecies and being the largest means being the stronger. Unlike other Pantheras (big cat), Jaguars doesn't f*ck their prey on the neck, they f*ck their prey on the HEAD. As a skullcrusher, the Pantanal Jaguar has beat the hippo in the bite force record at a 2000 PSI bite. Not like other Pantheras, Pantanal Jaguar like to eat crocodile not because they have to, but they love to. Pantanal Jaguars also like to eat anacondas but have to struggle if the anaconda attack them back. Just like the Honey Badger, this cat is a badass.

AMERICAN ALLIGATOR


American Alligators or mostly called Gators are large animal that friends with mosquitoes and f*ck herons in the mating season. Gators also make mosquitoes as partner in crime and both of them invade the Florida's Everglades along with Pythons and Crocs. Since Burmese Pythons invade everglades, almost all of the Gator's prey, so the gators have to adapt to this situation, and makes today gators prefer larger preys. Some gators have to eat pythons because pythons make their food vanish. Don't forget, big animals + big animals = fight. And gators develop strong bite to fight the python. It is estimated that gators got a 2125 PSI bite force. This guy legit.

ETHIOPIAN NILE CROCODILE


Ethiopian Nile Crocodiles, Common Nile Crocs, or simply just Nile Crocs are lazy animals that does nothing but hunt wildebeest and sunbathing. They're so lazy, even they didn't clean their own teeth themselves! They hire birds to clean it but if the bird clean the croc's teeth while the croc have an empty stomach, then the Nile croc turns to be a dirty traitor and devours
the poor bird. Nile crocs doesn't fear anything (except for hippo) and will eat any kind of animals and any size of animals. They are the true king of Africa. Well, almost. The only problem is because of the poop-shooting hippo that can cut them in half with their f*ckin' large mouth, are dwelling everywhere, ready to poop for marking territory. As a large animal, they prey for large animal like wildebeests and zebras. To bring these land mammals to the water, they need a strong mouth grip and pull them to the water and start the "Death Roll". Their bite force is 5000 PSI and even stronger than the half-cutting hippo, but since the hippo have larger mouth and body, so the poop-shooter can easily kill the bonecrusher. Nile crocs are also the largest reptile in Africa.

SALTWATER CROCODILE


Saltwater Crocodile, Saltwater Croc, or Salties, are large reptilians endemic to my country Indonesia and the southeastern coast of South Asia, Indochina and Malayan Peninsula, Andaman, Nicobar, and Philippines Archipelago, and Northern Coast of Australia. As the largest living reptile in the world, Salties are in the top of the food chain, even higher than sharks. And just like other crocs, Salties are super lazy. They spend most of its time sunbathing, hiring birds to cleaning its teeth, and of course, eat. Salties lives in group controlled by a dominant male that does nothing but mate and eat. The dominant salty treats other weak salties as slaves and if a slave salty caught a prey, the dominant salty eats the prey all. A salty that does the revolution to the dominant salty will ended up digested in the dominant salty's stomach. Salties favorite food are in fact, sharks! One time, a rare sighting seen in the Indo-Pacific ocean, a salty and a great white face to face. Which one wins? Of course the salty! Sharks only have 2 weapons: sharp teeth and strong muscles, but Salties have 4 weapon: sharp teeth, strong muscle, whip-like tail, and large sharp claws. The bite force of a salty is 7700 PSI making it not only the largest living, but also the strongest bite force of any reptiles. This guy truly doesn't give a sh*t.

KILLER WHALE


Killer Whale, commonly called Orca, is a large dolphin (in fact is the largest dolphin) that hunts large prey such as saltwater crocs, great whites, and even humpback whales! I really don't know what Orca is, is it a dolphin or a whale? I've browsed about dolphins and whales, but orcas are both species. Why the f*ck do internet gives no answer to a simple question and also why is it pretty confusing (the author sucks. He believes internet more than scientist). Although orca is called whale, but since scientist mostly referred them to dolphins, so I will call the referred species of this guy is a dolphin although I call it a Killer Whale. Orcas hunt in groups just like other dolphins, and they're social animals, so if an orca found a prey, it will share it to the rest of the group (well, some of them. Some orcas are pretty greedy). It's pretty hard (probably impossible) to measure orca's bite force, so some websites puts the Nile croc or the Salty in the top of the list. Since it's hard to measure the orca's bite force so scientists estimating the bite force of an orca. It is been estimated that orca has a 19000 PSI bite force! Is it crazy? 19000 PSI! That's the more than double of the saltwater croc's bite! This dolphins are insane, not to mention they're the most powerful of dolphins and a rampaging orca even can destroy a boat. Although their reputation in the water is above the shark, but orca is known to be gentle to humans, just like other dolphins. Or maybe whales? I confused!

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Top 8 Biggest Animal Swarm

Animal is known to use swarming behavior to avoid predators, create a colony with a queen, and migrating without stopping for a break. Sometimes swarms only contains around 100 to 100.000 animals, but these swarm are large than any of that. Here's top 8 biggest animal swarm.

8. ITALIAN HONEYBEE


The Italian Honeybee, also known as the Italian Western Honeybee (which the name is weird because they put the origin name right after the range name), is a subspecies of the Western Honeybee, and also the most commonly kept bees that make large swarms containing around 500.000 bees. This bee also pollinate most of the North American flowers. As the most commonly kept bee in America, more than 50% honey in America produced by this bee. But, this bee have lack of vitality, so any large predatory animal, such as wasps, that invade the hive, the worker bee can't fight them and ended up by wasp ruling the hive. They live together, and die together.

7. COMMON MEXICAN FREE-TAILED BAT


Common Mexican free-tailed bat, mostly called Mexican free-tailed bat (shorter name: MFT bat) is a small bat that naturally live in caves, attics, and baseball stadiums (those are baseball bats you idiot Author). This bat live in a large group without a leader, and made a hyperstinky smell that f*ck your nose. The MFT bats also invade highway bridges and come out in the nighttime in a large plague and often made a helicopter driver says "what the f*ck is this! Am I in Egypt!?" right before he crash to the ground. A MFT group often contains bats (we know it you stupid Author!) and during the World War II, it known that this bat will explode (because Americans stick bombs on them). MFT known to invade southern US States like Florida, Texas, California, and Mississippi, but it's mostly found in Texas. Texas MFT bat colony known to live in Austin bridges, with total 1.500.000 bats, and come out at the afternoon to invade Austin peoples. This bat maybe small, but when the bat being attacked, they bring millions of backup that's ready to make a nightmare. Oh yeah, every night they eat 13.000 kilos of insects.

6. COMMON EUROPEAN STARLING


Common European Starling, or common common starling (f*ck, so many weird names today), it's a bird that's... Uh... Well, it's a bird. Starlings, like the CE Starling (just call it CE starling for short), can mimic other birds sound in order to trick predator for not eating them. When the climate in their area is freezing cold, they have to migrate, bringing all of the population of the bird in that freezing area, and fly to the warmer area (probably) without leader. A migrating flock contains around 1.500.000 birds, and large predatory bird can very easily confused of the hyperlarge flock as a hyperlarge bird, and that's what making the most migration of the bird gone well, with only 1 or 3 bird lost or died. This guy is the true master of the flock.

5. COMMON AFRICAN MOUND-BUILDING TERMITE


The Common African Mound-building Termites, African Mound-builders, or Macrotermes Bellicosus, is a mound-building termite that build mounds out of sand, dirt, and spit. African Mound-builder queen is known to live up to 50 years, and produce 30.000 eggs per days. It means African mound-builder queen make 534.000.000 eggs in her lifetime! The queen's eggs hatches into larvae that's each one of them will play the role of the three termite colony castes:

a. Worker Termite
Works for searching and collecting food and maintaining the termite mound.

b. Soldier Termite
Works for protecting and defend the termite mound from intruders.

c. Reproductive Termite
Works for starting a colony and producing eggs.

African mound-builders known to make fireproof termite mound, when the raining season in Africa only giving the land lightnings but no single water (this phenomenon is real and called the Dry Thunderstorm). The mound of the termites are strong enough to hold anything, except for the stupid dirty Aardvark that like to crush the mound and f*ck it with its long sticky filthy worm-like tongue.

4. ALASKAN SNOW MOSQUITO


Alaskan Snow Mosquitoes, or also known as Alaskan Arctic Mosquito, Culiseta Alaskaensis, and M*th*rtf*cking-Clubber Mosquito is a large mosquito, that create large group and invade Arctic Tundras. In the mosquito world, the Alaskan snow mosquito is the big bloodsucker that swarm in large group to suck anything that live. Little known of these mosquitoes, but all Alaskan knows, these mosquitoes make large hypergroup that contains around 1.000.000.000 mosquitoes. They could kill a caribou, and f*ck other mosquitoes with their f*cking large body. This guy truly doesn't give a sh*t.

3. COMMON ATLANTIC HERRING


Common Atlantic Herring (Clupea harengus harengus), also known as only Herring is a delicious-and-easy-to-catch fish that known to live together, and die together, just like the honeybee. The CAH fish (stop making shorter names!) is a main prey for Humpback whales, Killer whales, Harbor seals, Herring gulls, Bottlenose dolphins, Blue sharks, and Normal humans. CAH fish make hyperschool that contains 4.000.000.000 fish, and a school this big can't just being wasted. Bigger fishes and mammal often throw a "party" to eat a school of herring together. CAHs are one of the saltwater fish with the highest catch, and it is also the most caught herring species.

2. DESERT LOCUST


The Desert Locust is known to make hyperultraextrasuper large plague, that's known to cover all of Egypt in Qur'an and Bible. Desert locusts is famous of it swarming behavior and known to even can threatens 60 countries at one swarm! A swarm of desert locust could contain 100.000.000.000 locusts and make the sky turns to black in the day. Locust swarm to migrate from the vegetable-lack area to a vegetable-abundant area. This guy is actually got similarities to grasshopper but when the veggie supply has dropped, they turn into crickets and migrates to other places. So in conclusion, a desert locust is a harmless solitary grasshopper, but when they lost their food, they turn into an indestructible clubbing badass crickets that f*ck farmers.

1. EUROPEAN ARGENTINE ANT


European Argentine ant is known to be the king of invasion. They invade other continents like there is no other places on earth. Although the European Argentine ant is a foreign species in America and even in Europe (just by reading its name you'll know where the ants come from), but when they brought to the foreign continent, just like a drop of water in a tissue, they spreading really fast. The largest known European Argentine ant nest stretches from the northern Italian Peninsula, to the northwesternmost point of Spain, all around the coast of Italy, France, Portugal, and Spain. That's a long nest, and can you count all of the ant living there? Well you're not stupid enough to count them one by one didn't you? (But if you does, you'll need a magnifying glass and a passport. It will took around 70 years) Well, it's been estimated with a population of 700.000.000.000 of ants. Can't you believe it? 700 billions of ants in one hyperlarge nest is a foreign species! These guy are true invaders, and that's why we put the ants in the number one spot on this list.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Top 8 Most Voracious Animals

Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sin, that make a common cause of obesity in human and animals. But some of this animal is actually NEEDS gluttony to survive for the animal's high metabolism or the gluttony's friend, the sloth, has taken over its hunting behavior and only chooses leftover food and carcasses to eat. Here's the Top 8 Most Voracious Animal. 

8. GOLDFISH


Goldfish is a fish that originating from the East Asian country of China and Japan, with the original color orange and a cold-loving fish that already been a popular pet for children and adults in America. Goldfishes are known as one of the most gluttonous fish species in the world. It even more voracious than the Tiger Shark. This fish is known to can be fed to almost anything including pellets, ants, and even, broccoli. If they didn't get fed in just a few minutes, they'll getting desperate then starts to eating their sh*ts! Just like dogs, goldfish LOVE their owner. If in feeding time the owner put his/her hand in the tank, in the later time, if the owner dip his/her finger in the goldfish tank with no food, the goldfish just come and nibble his/her finger wishing to get some pellets and worm. Goldfish is a one hungry little guy.

7. DOMESTIC PIG


Pig are disgusting animal, that often eat somebody else's sh*t. Even people DO knows pigs are disgusting, but they keep eating them. Why the f*ck people eating pigs! (Except for doctors, vegetarian, Muslims, and Vegetarian Muslim Doctors. They're know what's best for them). The idiom "Eat like pig" that given to glutton people is a hundred percent true. Pigs are seriously voracious, and will do anything to satisfy their stomach which could lead to infections or worse, Pig Fat Disease (Get real author. There no such thing as Pig Fat Disease. It's called an animal obesity you idiot). The Pig Fat Disease makes pig stomach increasingly swells until the same size as a truck wheel. One time, a pair of pig that got obesity (finally you call it an obesity), cannot come out from their cage because they're to fat from eating garbage and sh*ts, so they have to come out in a form of pieces (see, don't eat to much or you ended up coming out from your bedroom in pieces). Man, this guy is a real garbage vampire.

6. TASMANIAN DEVIL


Tasmanian Devil is the largest carnivore marsupial that got stinky mouth as well as stinky buttocks. The Tasmanian Devil, just like its name, are only wildly found in the forests of Tasmania, and this guy mostly eat carcasses but very rarely hunt (such lazybones). If a Tasmanian Devil eat, they will left nothing but bones (they even suck the smell). Because they are so lazy to hunt, sometimes a group of Tasmanian Devil fight for Wallaby Carcass, even if there is hundred rats around them. The population of Tasmanian Devil are decreased, due to a disease called Tasmanian Devil facial tumor, that makes a tumor grows on the Tasmanian Devil's jaw which make them can't eat because their teeth are "drowning" to the tumor. But the tumor isn't affect the Tasmanian Devil desire to eat.

5. BLUE WHALE


Blue Whale is the largest animal on Earth. Despite its hyper size, Blue Whales eat small food, that needs millions of them to satisfy its stomach, and the small food is called Krill. A whale can eat half a million of calories per days! That's just like an average adult man that consume in 250 days. But blue whales eat what average adult eat in 250 days in one days, from krills. Isn't that stupid. Well, it is. In the whale world, 1000 krills = 1 potato chip. If a human eat 1 potato chip, is he satisfied his stomach yet? Well, he isn't. A human needs around 100 potato chips to satisfied his stomach, but because blue whales are glutton animals, so instead of eating 100.000 krills, they eat 1.000.000 krills! That's like a person ate 1000 potato chips a day! Whale are voracious.

4. RUBY-THROATED HUMMINGBIRD


The Ruby-throated Hummingbird, is a species of hummingbird which hold the record of the fastest wing beat, and possibly, the most gluttonous bird in the world. The Ruby-throated Hummingbird can flap their wings up to 200 times per second, and they're need a lot of power to reach the hyperflap. The power of the hummingbird comes from consuming nectars until 2 times of their body weight. Some hummingbirds that flies slowly and near the grown are fat! But in the hummingbird's world, gluttony is key of survival, because no matter the amount of nectars they eat, they need large amount of nectars to flap their wings as fast as bees.

3. EURASIAN WOLVERINE


The Eurasian Wolverine is a maniac killer. As the largest of the four wolverine subspecies (the North American Wolverine, the Kenai Peninsula Wolverine, the Vancouver Island Wolverine, and the Eurasian Wolverine), they need large amount of food, and they're known to be SERIOUSLY glutton. They also got their Latin name "Gulo Gulo Gulo" which means in English is "Glutton Glutton Glutton". Just like the Tasmanian Devil, when the Eurasian Wolverine eat, they will not stop until the bones. Also just like Tasmanian Devils, the Eurasian Wolverine got stinky buttocks, and it's even stinker than the skunk's butt. Eurasian Wolverines are known to be ferocious, and fears nothing, even to Honey Badgers. Eurasian Wolverine's food are meats, starting from mice to caribous. If they already eat, they'll be the king in the table. They will eat large amounts of food everyday, and if they being bothered when eating, the animal that bother them will be their next meal. Even Dobermans afraid to Eurasian Wolverines. They're the true Honey Badgers of the North.

2. GRIZZLED SKIPPER


Grizzled Skippers are fast butterflies that in fact, the fastest butterfly in the world. But the most gluttonous grizzled skipper is not in the adult form, but in the disgusting caterpillar form (it's so disgusting, I don't even put the photo here). Grizzled Skipper's caterpillar needs a lot of leafs to eat, around 200 times of its body weight. Its same as a human baby eat a Cape Buffalo in a week! After eat those much of food the Grizzled Skipper caterpillar began to form a cocoon, for its metamorphosis. Well, is that's the last of the eating adventure of the Grizzled Skipper? Not yet! When they metamorphosed to a fully grown skipper, as a fast butterfly, adult grizzled skippers also need a lot of food for their power, which is the nectar. That's why the grizzled skipper is the most gluttonous butterfly of all, because both larva and adult phase of the skipper's metamorphosis, are highly voracious.

1. EURASIAN LEAST SHREW


Eurasian Least Shrew is the second-smallest mammal on Earth, which a cold-loving shrew, that invades Eurasia, which includes The Chinese Autonomous Region of Inner Mongolia, Russian Siberian Range, The Hokkaido Island of Japan, and even, The Santa Claus Country of Finland. As a small shrew, they need to eat every 12 minute with the food as same size as their weight, or dead. It means, they eat 4 (their weight is 4 grams) times their weight in a day. You think the skipper caterpillar can beat this shrew huh? Although the skipper caterpillar eat 200 times its body weight a day, but life as a caterpillar only happens a week. The Eurasian least shrew's lifespan is 2.5 year, and small shrews eat 4 times their body weight everyday, which means they eat 3650 times their weight (142 kg) in their life. Because of its hyperextreme metabolic rate, this guy only sleep around 10 to 50 minutes.

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Top 8 Most Fearless Animals

Fear are emotions that caused by believing if something or someone is dangerous, and we're all know that we have one. But these animals don't! They fear nothing and will face anything that they considered threatening without noticing how dangerous and life threatening it is. So, Enjoy (#HONEYBADGERDONTCARE).

8. DOMESTICATED TURKEY


The Turkey, sometimes called the domesticated turkey or the wild turkey, are animals (and a country) that kicks anything near them that's not it's mate. It's wattle look like the wattle of the well known kicking birds, cassowaries, and the turkey is probably one of the descendant of the most well known kicking dinosaur, the Citipati. The turkey's cousin, capercaillie, also do the same crazy thing, but only in mating season. The turkey's favorite stuff to do is mate, fight, kick, eat, fight, and gobbles. And even if you put a turkey in the same room with 3 game fowls, the game fowls will die. That's why you NEVER put an uncaged turkey in the same room with you. If your main enemy is your rival or burglars, but the Turkey's main enemy, is almost EVERYTHING. Some of the turkey's enemy are other turkeys, decoy turkeys, capercaillies, humans, ancient humans, fruit, plants, hairs, hairballs, cats, statues, pooped statues, You, dinosaurs, tyrannosauruses, remote controls, water bottles, socialist, republican, politican, presidents, Osama, tapirs, trash cans, mirrors, their reflection on the mirror, non-predatory animal, hospitals, hospital foods, plastic bags, hair sprays, American, Asian, Russian, Moroccan, British, Afghans, Talibans, ISIS, Al-Qaedas, and trillions of other things that commonly normal to us. Turkeys sure is dumb, and fearless. Turkeys are also the dumbest animal in the world.

7. PANTANAL JAGUAR


Not like the lion that fears the crocs, jaguars like the crocs, not as friend, but as food. In the Amazons, the largest jaguar subspecies, the Pantanal Jaguar, feed on caymans and kill it not by wrestle, but by stalking from their back and bite the skull of the cayman. Pantanal Jaguar has large long fangs that can stab into turtle shells, cayman skulls, and even, anaconda skulls. Not like other big cats, the Pantanal Jaguar didn't kill their prey by choking them, but they kill their prey by stabbing the prey's skull with it's teeth and fangs. If the Pantanal Jaguar got to face to face with the anaconda, the jaguar will surely and definitely wins. One time, an anaconda tightly coil a Pantanal Jaguar, but the Pantanal Jaguar manage to break free from the coil but instead of runaway, the jaguar kills and eat the giant anaconda! Fearless, is already be a key of survival in the Amazon, because if you fear just one single thing, then you will never come out alive.

6. CHRISTMAS ISLAND RED CRAB


The Christmas Island Red Crabs are seriously powerless and weak, plus the populations are easily decreased by invasive species. The reason I put these guys on the list, it's because of the Annual Christmas Island Red Crabs Migration. In the migration, all of the CIR Crabs (I call them CIR crab for short) from the forests, lakes, mountains, and under buildings will march all together to the Indian Ocean. In the process, there are lots of, lots of, lots of challenge, from the risk of being eaten by seabirds to being ran over by a car. Other than that, when they all meet the ocean, there are much more challenge to being eaten by predators like Rays, Sharks, Octopus, and even Cuttlefishes can enjoy the meal. Every year, they not even fear the challenges from the past migration of their kind that face the death for love. Just for love, they have to risk their life and need fearless acts for just making love.

5. CAPE BUFFALO


Cape Buffalo, sometimes called southern savanna buffalo, are peaceful animals that live in herds. This guy knows no fear, and if it gets mad, it will kill anything in it's way which include cheetahs, lions, and crocs. If a calf separated from the herd, the heard will immediately comes back and take the calf. If a lion manage to caught one of the calf, the mother of the calf has become the badass nightmare of the lion and will do anything to protect it's child and can bravely fight and kill the lion. The bravery isn't stop there. The herd can being eaten by crocs when crossing the river, but if a buffalo being bitten by a croc, they will struggle to live and will kill the croc if it's a must. All in all, this animal fears no lions and no crocs.

4. BARNACLE GOOSE


Barnacle Goose are geese that love cold temperatures and snowmans. The adult geese is not the real fearless daredevils, but the little chicks are the true daredevils. As a prey animal, the barnacle goose's chick is a vulnerable food for arctic fox and polar bears, but luckily, their mother lay eggs in high cliffs so they (in the form of egg) are safe from predatory animal. But when their eggs hatched in the cliff, just like other mother goose, the barnacle mother goose doesn't feed their chicks, even when they placed in a high cliff. They have to find food by themselves and that means jumping from the high dangerous cliff. Luckily, as a little chick, they are as light as a feather and also fall like a feather. But the challenge isn't stop yet. The flightless chicks have to face the fear of large predatory animal, that can easily catch and eat them and as a flightless chick, they moving slow. Only 1 or half of the chicks that can make it to their mother and raised until adult. That is a one tough baby.

3. BROWN RAT


As the most common rat, the Brown Rat has already invade houses in all around the world, except every parts in the Arctic Circle, the Antarctic Circle, and Alberta. Although people in all over the world busting the brown rat and considered them as pest, but the brown rats keeps coming back, and increase it's population. They're one of the number one vegetable and fruit pest in the world and people has tried everything to bust them from putting rat traps to hiring a pestbuster but they keep coming back. Although brown rats only can live at an average one year and they got fast metabolism, but due to the abundant of plantation and organic waste all over the world which drags insects and small mammals, the brown rat got both flesh, fruit, and veggies in their mouth and sometimes they face their fear of coming into people's houses and eat what they find and mate with any female rats, so killing any rats you see in your house is not effective anymore because if you kill one rat, trillions more has born, and ready to invade.

2. WOLVERINE


Wolverine is a long-clawed badass, that known as a major threat to Siberians, Polar Bears, and Donald Pierce. The most fearless wolverine of all, is the North American Wolverine. They known to kill grizzly bears, black bears, and polar bears just because they block the Wolverine's way when the wolverine want hunt or mate. Wolverines fears nothing and will often attack human that blocking their way, or get too close to them. Although the Eurasian Wolverine is the biggest of all wolverines, but the North American wolverine is the most badass of all. Wolverines are the biggest species weasel family (mustelidae). The Least Weasel known as the smallest weasel of all, but they hunt rabbits which grows two time their size, so as the biggest weasel, Wolverines ALSO take down larger preys. They will take down Moose, Caribou, and even, Polar Bear. When they already kill their prey, they will eat it voraciously, until there is nothing but bones, and any animals that bother them when they eat, will be their next meal. That's why they're also one of the most voracious animal in the planet, and also why they got the Latin name "Gulo" which means glutton in Latin Language. They're the true Honey Badgers of the North.

1. HONEY BADGER


Honey Badger Don't Care, Honey Badger Takes What It Wants, and Honey Badger Doesn't Give A Shit are true impressions of the Honey Badger. They are truly badass! In fact, the honey badger receive the record fpr The Most Fearless Animal In The World by Guinness Book of World Records. They fight lions and eat cobra everyday, without getting the fear of lose. Although wolverines ever kill a polar bear and honey badger not realy ever kill a lion, or even a single leopard, but polar bears are endangered animals, and it's pretty hard to spot the bear in the wild, but honey badgers live in one protected national park with lions and leopards, and have to fight the lions everyday to survive! A lion that approach a honey badger will repeatedly bitten by the honey badger, and even when the lion brings back up or deliberately backing up, they will still being attacked by the honey badger. The honey badger knows they will die if they keep fighting lions, but just like everybody said, honey badgers don't care. They will fight to their death, and if they do win, they will keep bullying the lion until they're scared and runaway. They even risk their live when breaking beehives just to get to taste a drop of honey, and one little larva (Ew! This guy eats larvae!?!!). Rumor said, that Honeyguide Birds guide the honey badger to a beehive but there still no evidence (hey honey badgers, we know how you easily found honey now, so don't hide it anymore). Honey Badgers are resistant to any threat, including lion fangs, bee stings, and porcupine quills. Honey Badgers live in a burrow that (I) called a Ratelhole. If an animal like a lion, an African elephant, or a cape buffalo get to close to a ratelhole, the honey badger quickly becomes mad and attack anything that guilty and innocent near the ratelhole. Honey Badgers are also known as the "Houdini of the Animal Kingdom", that all of the zoo in the world except Bloemfontein Zoo and Johannesburg Zoo in South Africa, Howletts Wild Animal Park in the UK, Sharjah Breeding Center of Endangered Arabian Wildlife in UAE, Ramat Gan Safari and Zoological Gardens of Tel Aviv University in Israel, Nehru Zoological Garden in India, Riyadh Zoo in Saudi Arabia, and San Diego Zoo in the US, doesn't allow to keep honey badgers in captivity. Every captivity with a honey badger in it give the cage a full 24 hours protection, because if it's not protected, as a Houdini, they will escape and attack anything they see and surplus kill small mammals like cats and chickens. They're truly badass, because no matter what challenges they meet, Honey Badger Don't Care.

Friday, May 5, 2017

Top 8 Most Venomous Mammal

Venom is a dangerous killer liquid that most amphibians, reptiles, and mollusks has it. But if you think mammals don't produce one, then you're wrong. Few mammals do produce venom both for hunting and defense, and we're listing the one that has the most powerful venom of all mammals so enjoy and watch out for venoms. They kill.

8. SUNDA SLOW LORIS


Sunda Slow Loris is a slow moving, endangered animal that It's so slow, some people says that they are a mix of a primate and a slug. In Malaysia, this Loris called Kera Duku, because the name it's given to it's love of Langsats and Dukus, and in Indonesia, it's called the Kukang, which in the country, it's often confused by either lorises and sloths because in Indonesia, both of them are called Kukang. Not like most lorises, this loris stay in the tree for almost the rest of it's lives. This loris, along with the Pygmy Slow Loris, Javan Slow Loris, Bornean Slow Loris, and the Bengal Slow Loris are one of the few venomous mammals, but for me, the Sunda Slow Loris got the strongest venom of all. When it's threatened by a predator, they will bite and releases it's venomous gland in it's elbow, licking it, then lick its teeth, bite the predator, and roll into a ball (just like armadillos and pangolins) and covering all of it's body with it's venomous gland to prevent more attacks from the predator. Not like the other venomous mammal that you about to see, the Sunda Slow Loris, just like it's name, got the slowest metabolism of all (but maybe the most slothful of all).

7. HISPANIOLAN SOLENODON


The Hispaniolan Solenodon, or Agouta for short, has been live with us when we're still Neanderthals and Cavemens. This Dominic-Haitian endemic animals are extremely endangered, and protected in the northern and southern part of Hispaniola Island, but some stupid Mongooses bring by stupid ships to Hispaniola Island has stupidly eaten most of the population. Cursed you Mongooses! Especially the one that almost attack me in my balcony at that night. Just like other Solenodons, the Hispaniolan Solenodon has a venom-filled saliva that will make a serious pain in the bitten spot. Although it is abundant around thousands years ago in the whole North America, even in the today's range of this animal, they're still really hard to find, and if you easily find this animal in the Northern or Southern Hispaniola range, you are 1 of the whole population of India and China combined that can easily found this animal in the wild, and why am I talking about the population but NOT THE VENOM!!!

6. COMMON VAMPIRE BAT


Common Vampire Bat, sometimes known as the Bloodsucking Son of a B*tch, is a species of a Latin American bat that sucks blood to animals and human, just to fill it's weird blood-digesting stomach. And just when you think this bat produce real venom, the common vampire bat actually produce DRUGS not VENOM. People said they're venomous because when they sucks blood, they release it's saliva that full of anticoagulants and rabies. Although it not actually produce venom, we put this bat on the list, because peoples define it's produce venom, and also, it's more dangerous than the other ones because they spread a lot of rabies. Well that's a waste of time.

5. EUROPEAN MOLE


European Mole is the one of the few known mole that produce venom in it's saliva to kill preys. The mole only uses it's venom in a small portion to kill earthworms, and other food-considered bugs and mammals. This animal it's almost blind, so they will eat anything that fit in it's mouth, starting from earthworms, roots, millipedes, centipedes, spiders, and even, small mice and shrews. In the European Mole's paw, there is a wristbone that called the "extra thumb" to help digging moles, like the European Mole, digs better. If this mole go to the surface of the Earth for maybe take a breath, they will make somekind of a bumpy, pimple-like little mole-made mountains, called the Molehill. If you living in Europe see some of your plants in your backyard garden just disappear, it must be fell to the mole's tunnels, or the mole just deliberately pull it down to eat it, but if you see a half eaten vegetable in your garden, don't eat it, it may be bitten by the mole and contaminated by the venom (who even wanna eat a half-eaten vegetable?).

4. NORTHERN SHORT-TAILED SHREW


Northern Short-tailed Shrew, or NST Shrew for short, are large shrew, that have an amazingly high metabolism. Just like bats, the NST uses the echolocation to find prey. Due to the high metabolism, the NST have to eat every three hours. If it's not eat every three hours, they will losing power, faith, then die. In the NST's menu, are earthworms, frogs, toads, centipedes, millipedes, snails, salamanders, mice, voles, and pygmy shrews. For such a big and active prey, there is nothing faster to kill them but venom, and NST shrews have a venomous saliva. If the NST founds prey, they will voraciously devour it, leaving nothing but bones. It's venom is lethal to an animal two time it's size, and can make a bitten spot on human to swell. The NST toxin's structure are very similar to the Mexican Beaded Lizard's toxin structure for some reason. The NST is the most common shrew in the Great Lakes area, it could range around 12 shrews per acre, but in rare occasions, it could range into 80 shrews per acre.

3. EURASIAN WATER SHREW


Eurasian Water Shrew is a duck-footed shrew, that like to swim and hunt fish. Although the shrew's fangs can't easily puncture the skin of large mammals like cats and humans, but the poison of it's saliva it's deadly enough to kill many fish. The shrew's metabolism it's high, so it have to kill and eat 8 guppy-size fish a day and that's will need a lot of venom to use. We put the Eurasian Water Shrew in the higher spot than the Northern Short-tailed Shrew, because the NST shrew's fang is so big, it didn't need a lot of venom to kill it's prey, but the Eurasian Water Shrew's fang it's small, so it needs a relatively large portion of venom to release after it punctures a little bit of it's prey body. Because that the Eurasian Water Shrew is more dangerous than the NST shrew, it "spit" more poisons.

2. CUBAN SOLENODON


The Cuban Solenodon, also called the Almiqui, is an animal that's also already live when we are still Neanderthals. Although the Hispaniolan Solenodon is larger than the Cuban Solenodon, but just like the shrew, the smaller the animal the more the venom, and because of it smaller size than the Hispaniolan, the Cuban spit larger portion of venom to kill it's prey. The Cuban Solenodon it's also considered as the rarest solenodon of all, and listed as endangered by IUCN. Cuban Solenodon also harder to find than the Hispaniolan Solenodon, that in the range of Eastern Cuba, It's seriously hard to find. Since 142 years finding this solenodon, only 37 that's ever caught, and most recently caught in the 2003. The Cuban Solenodon is look like an oversize shrew (ranges from 41 cm to 56 cm) but ate much larger prey than the shrew. It even can eat the shrew itself! But still, it's threatened by Mongooses that brought to Cuba by ship.

1. DUCK-BILLED PLATYPUS


The Duck-billed Platypus, commonly called Platypus, is a (probably) hybrid animal, containing the duck, the otter, and the beaver. Both of the male and female Platypus are special because the female is a monotreme (egg-laying mammal) while the male has a couple of ankle spur that spits venom (the female also has a couple of ankle spur, but it's unvenomous). The male uses it's venomous ankle spurs to fight and dominance in the mating season as well as protecting themselves from large predatory animals. Platypus's venom is powerful enough to paralyze it's predator and to humans, it makes a painful wound in the stabbed spot and the pain won't leave until more than a month. Platypus is the animal that perfectly built to live in rivers, because they got webbed feet to swim agile, a duck-like beak to search prey under muds, a broad tail to increase it's swim speed, and a electrolocation power to find food in the murky water by catching low-voltage-electricity-producing fish by catching the low-voltage electricity the fish produced using it's electroreceptors, just like the Hammerhead.