Saturday, March 18, 2017

Top 8 Fastest Animals

Here are the list of 8 fastest animals in the world by speed record (Wikimedia version). Most of the animals are birds actually but there's also an insect and mammal, so read it fastly (just messin' with ya).

8. HORSEFLY - 145.0 km/hours



The Horsefly, or scientifically called Tabanidae, are fast, agile-flying, small, and blood-sucking creatures that sucking blood from other creatures, including humans. These guys usually found in European Russia, and bites cattle and horses while they're grazing. In the world of Horseflies, the female are the BOSS, cause those are the real girl vampire and seriously sucks blood when mating and the male.... well they sucks boring nectars just like the slow-flying butterflies.

7. COMMON PIGEON - 148.9 km/hours


Common Pigeon, Rock Pigeon, Pet Pigeon, Columba Livia, or Rock Dove are birds that usually live on groups and mostly saled at birdshops with average price around 100-200 dollars. Okay, at the first, I may underestimate these birds because of how they look, how they move on lands, and how they sound like and also because they're the birds that mostly and legendarily known for pooping on statues, human statues, and humans, but amazingly, these birds fly so FAST! (I know it from how quick they escaped a Wels jaw (although one of them didnt manage to escape and ended up digested by the Wels)). Also, I warn you if a pigeon poop, all of the pigeon flock poops! That's what makes them legendary known, and pigeons are true legends. No one else in the world got famous cause of poop!

6. FRIGATEBIRD - 153 km/hours



The Frigatebird is the bird-version of orangutans, howler gibbons, and somehow, the cone snail, because this bird known cause... You know it, the gular skin. This gular skin used as female-magnet in the mating season. This bird usually found in Galapagos Islands and firstly found probably by Charles Darwin. Only in the tropic and subtropic region you can see this bird because maybe they hate snows, allergic to snows, or dreamed their ancestors became extinct by a glacier action or something.

5. MEXICAN FREE-TAILED BAT - 160 km/hours (99 mph)


Although I know, I know some of you readers, think Cheetahs  are the fastest mammals on earth and just like me when the first time heard how fast Cheetahs run when I still a toddler, you wrong. These guys are! And Mexican free-tailed bat also own the record of one of the highest-flying bats because how high they fly. In the mating season, Mexican free-tailed bat  uses "singing" as a female-magnet. I dont know how do they got successful in this thing, because I tried to sing for girls, and it doesn't worked as I planned.

4. EURASIAN HOBBY - 160 km/hours (100 mph)


A hobby is a bird, probably a falcon, from family falconidae that uses The Stoop as their hunting skill, just like the Gyrfalcon and the Peregrine. Just slightly smaller than the Peregrine, hobby strikes it prey like a gun shooted to the ground from the roof. Hobbies prey on flesh like rabbits and stuff and they are reeeeeaaaallllllly aggressive birds, so if you catch these birds in the wild, you might loose 2 or 3 of your finger in the first day of keeping (except for somebody that not stupid enough to feed them with fingers in the first minute that guy catch it(by the way, these creatures are endangered, so if you catch them without permission and doesnt loose your finger, you may loose your savings)).

3. NEEDLETAIL SWIFT - 169 km/hours



Swifts are birds that nests on ceilings with some dead-grass mixed with some kind of swift saliva or something. In Asia, the nest of these birds taken to make expensive, supernutricious, hyperdelicious food that (I) called the Swiftnest Soup. Swifts got little reports on touching the land, so if you found this bird "stuck" in the land, quickly, take the swift nest and cook it because these birds took times to get back into the air (or maybe never). Mostly, needletail swifts found in central Asia (that's also where the soup come from) and rarely found in other continents. Once a big migration trough The Hebrides, ended up killed by unsuspecting wind turbines. I guess the wind turbine replaced the swifts in the third spot!

2. GOLDEN EAGLE - 320 km/hours


Not only famous of the attacking of deers and facing strayed dogs, the today's urban areas are massively increasing, and the forest critters have to adapt to live in the major urban areas, including the Golden Eagle. These birds also famous of it hyperfocusing eagle eye that used to point prey, and the big brownish-yellowish body (no one knows why these birds called Golden, or perhaps, maybe because they're bald, which then referred to “Shiny” which then referred to “Gold” so they called Shiny-bald-headed Eagle before peoples changing the name into Golden Eagle because peoples realize the name was totally stupid and need pretty long time to spell). Golden Eagles also known to kill, devour, and digest it's primal enemy, the dumb flightless Rabbits (well, except for Wolpertingers). Because Golden Eagles has adapted to the urban areas, they're not picky predators and they're notoriously greedy. In the Golden Eagle's menu are squirrels, rabbit, pet rabbit, leashed dogs, unleashed dogs, fish, goldfish, catfish, wooden fish decoys, drones, other eagles, snails, iron nails, human nails, juvenile humans, capercaillies, porcupines, hedgehog, hedge hog, sewer rats, sewer pipes mistaken as a snake, snakes, pythons mistaken as small snakes, fishing lure, and 284 other kind of foods (mostly irons). When an eagle attacks a prey, they doesn't flap their wings and just like a falling gargoyles, their moving fast! And in the 3 seconds to touching the prey, they release the claws to stab and kill the prey in place. If the prey ran away seconds after the eagle release the claws, the claws deeply stabbing the ground, and make the Golden Eagle stuck on the ground forever.

1. PEREGRINE FALCON - 389 km/hours


And the last in the list which also means the fastest animal in the world, is the Peregrine Falcon. This bird is one family with the Gyrfalcons and Hobbies, called the falconidae. Peregrines are faster than Formula One racecars and sometimes, stupid cheating racers put this bird inside the racecar's machine, hoping it makes the racecar move faster and beating all of the opponents, but ended up by bloods squirting from the machine, the machine makes grumbling noise, and the racecar explode, making the racer gets the same pain as the falcon got. This bird attacks prey by using a technique that the bird attacking in a fast motion by stooping towards the ground then hits the prey in a bullseye (not like the Golden Eagle, this bird manage to calculate the distance and the time it needs to grab the prey in the right spot, avoiding ground-stabbing). Sometimes, peregrines attacking flying preys such as flying duck, flying Canadian Goose, and including the hardest prey, bird predators can handle, the drone. Although the stoop technique giving the bird bigger chance to catching prey in the right spot, this technique give the Peregrine worst impact than the Golden Eagle got if it accidentally went uncontrolled. Many reports says that uncontrolled stooping of a Peregrine makes them crashing into roofs, car glass, mailbox, ice cream cones, stands, restaurants, trampolines, and wells in a really fast speed.